What is jealousy? Jealousy is an emotion and typically refers to the negative thoughts and feelings of insecurity, fear, and anxiety over an anticipated loss of something that the person values, particularly in reference to a human connection. Jealousy often consists of a combination of presenting emotions such as anger, resentment, inadequacy, helplessness and disgust.
Cultural psychologists tend to believe that humans are inherently jealous, simply because our jobs, relationships and material goods mean a lot to us, and we don’t want to lose them.
A popular misconception about jealousy is that it is the same as envy. In fact, the feeling of envy refers to wanting something that someone else has, such as a fast car or a big flashy house.
Jealousy, however, is more aptly described as the fear of losing something (a lover, promotion, friend, etc.) to someone else. Jealousy is an anticipatory emotion; it seeks to prevent loss. Jealousy causes us to take precautionary measures. Should those fail and the partner has an affair, the new situation arouses anger, depression, disappointment, and so on.
A big part of the problem lies within you and not with the person you are jealous of. The following are possible root causes for jealousy:
Jealousy root cause #1:Lack of self confidence: The main cause for feelings of jealousy are your doubts about your abilities or skills. If you were one hundred percent sure of yourself you would have never suffered from any jealousy feelings
Jealousy root cause #2: Poor self image : Having a poor self image is another cause of jealousy. If you believe that you look ugly or that you are not that handsome then chances are you’ll be experiencing feeling of jealousy whenever you meet someone who looks better than you
Jealousy root cause #3: Fear : One of the root causes behind jealousy is being afraid. This fear can be a fear of ending up alone, a fear of being rejected or a fear of losing the love of your partner.
Jealousy root cause #4: Insecurity: Feelings of insecurity are the result of the two previously mentioned causes. A poor self image and lack of self confidence can result in making you feel insecure about a relationship and this can be a strong reason that can make you jealous.
In addition to these common causes of jealousy, another reason behind the unwanted emotion could well be the guilt and conscience of ones self. This cause is never really spoken about or chartered, however, could be the result of a great deal of jealousy blow-ups. You can often hear people say things like “That person is suspicious because of their own wrong doings (e.g. cheating on their partner)” or “A guilty conscience creates a false guilty conscience another.” So, you can imagine how this can also be applied to jealousy. Could certain actions of a person cause them to become jealous if their partner acted in the same way?
When we experience negative emotions in the form of guilt or jealousy, we tend to spend a lot of time analyzing our actions and that of those who we care for the most. Over thinking can deprive the human brain of chemicals that naturally cause happiness, and this can often lead to depression. This is why jealousy can get out of control and an extremely addictive character trait, regardless of our desire to expel it.
Love can also exert the same stress on your body as deep fear. You see the same physiological responses being pupil dilation and increased heart rate. So, we experience jealously both physically and emotionally being that it arrives from comparison, competition & fear of being replaced… yet, authenticity prevents all three.